The difference in opinion arises from our attitude towards the role of medicine and interventions. I am for a natural or alternative approach to health care, and believe in the power of the body to heal and preserve itself given the opportunity. So medicines are a desperate last resort when I'm not feeling well, delayed until I have tried natural remedies.
When it comes to pregnancy and childbirth then, I believe the woman's body is designed specially to handle that challenge gracefully, albeit with lots of pain. Apart from emergencies and other serious risks, a pregnancy and childbirth should not be treated as a medical case, as if it were some kind of illness or anomaly. Before Obamacare, insurance companies used this excuse (pre-existing condition) to deny coverage. I think the practice of considering pregnancy a "health risk" is squarely misguided.
So obviously I voted for a natural birth in a birth center somewhere. Labor could start at home, and the birth setting would be quiet and private. A hospital would be close, and an obstetrician on hand in case of emergencies. I know it sounds idealistic, especially that I'll never experience these things, but I think that's what's best.
On the other hand is the Mrs., whose perspective of childbirth borders on traumatic. The stories she's heard about its mishaps have left her convinced that she needs the attention of an obstetrician during pregnancy, and must be in a hospital during labor and childbirth, in case of emergencies. This is the American default; it's not bad, but it could be better.
Colorado Springs doesn't have an alternative/natural birth center, but the two major hospitals have maternity wards designed to function as birth centers. The atmosphere though is still cold and sterile, and less than private. At Memorial Hospital and Penrose-St.Francis, the wards occupy their own floor. When we toured them, we also learned that they have adopted some practices advocated by midwives and doulas, specifically to empower women to experience labor confidently. Gone are the nurseries to which babies were carted right after birth. Most importantly, mothers have a whole hour right after birth for skin-to-skin contact with the new baby, and most post-natal procedures (except circumcision) are performed right there in the delivery room. Penrose-St.Francis has labor facilities and recovery rooms if the mother needs a few more days around the hospital. Also of note is the increasing role of certified midwives as primary care providers for pregnant women, with the backing of an obstetrician who has privileges in these birthing centers. This situation settles our first difference of opinion (the "where" part).
The non-compromise on the how the birth should happen: labor naturally as long as possible, knowing pain relief medicines are available when needed; avoid unnecessary medical interventions. Whatever the case is, the ultimate goal is for her to enjoy the pregnancy and get the support and relief she will need during labor and childbirth. We will do whatever she thinks is needed at the time, for her maximum comfort.
