Family Agile Board In Practice

We've been practicing family agility in our home for a few weeks now, and have forged our own flavor of the practice, starting with the use of an agile board. The board is simply a means to visualize our week and the activities thereof. Below are some observations that have been helpful to us:

(1) The board has only 4 sections: "To Do" (for everything that needs to be done this week), "Today" (for what will be tackled today), "Blocked" (for what was started but for whatever reason cannot be completed yet, such as when we are waiting for a response from somebody), and "Done" (for what is complete).

(2) We do a "daily standup" in the evenings Monday through Saturday. During the standup, we briefly talk about tasks in "Today" and move what is complete to "Done" or stuck items to "Blocked". This lasts less than 10 minutes, but it also gives us a chance to catch up on each other's day.

(3) On Sunday nights, we do a "retrospective" in which we recap the week: we go through the "Done" items and high-five each other for the accomplishments, gather lessons learned, and move weekly repeat tasks back to "To Do". We also look at the week ahead and back-fill "To Do" with new tasks. Then we do a quick standup for Monday. Having a view of the week at all times helps us coordinate our activities better.

(4) We feel that practicing agility this way has also been a benefit to our marriage. It has helped us be on the same page more often than not, and because we must plan each day together, we also know how to pray for each other throughout the day. The general awareness of what we are faced with also provides better opportunities to serve each other and work well together as a team. It also provides opportunity to hold each other accountable, encouraging us to do what we said we would.

(5) When a non-repeating task stays in "Today" for more than a day, I mark a strike on it. Tasks with too many strikes indicate poor planning, or taking on too much for the day, or thinking something is ready for action when it really wasn't, or not understanding the scope of the task comprehensively. Sounds all technical, but this method has helped us pace ourselves.

(6) When we do a retrospective, we are always surprised at how much we got done that week. Lots of things would have gone unnoticed that deserve a pat on the back. As a matter of fact, we are getting a lot more done these days, without feeling overwhelmed.

(7) There was some concern about what exactly should be on the board. In the end, we decided that if it something we want recognized, or that will take an hour or more of effort, or that we want to reflect on at the retrospective, is not super private, and is not a mundane daily activity (like brushing your teeth or breathing), then it can be on the board. Though, if brushing your teeth or breathing are "things you are working on", a reminder on the board can help.

(8) We considered using an online Kanban board, but we liked the visual aesthetic the physical agile board provides. We can actually stand up next to the board, and moving items among the section provides a "we did it" high. Also, the size of the board limits how much we sign up for each week. When we have tasks overflowing on the wall, we pause and ask ourselves whether we've taken on too much. Obviously the board will need to expand when Moses starts using it with us.

(9) We no longer have priorities attached to things, which in a way removes pressure to get things done. If something must be done quickly, then it is assigned to someone "Today". More urgency that that, activities will not be on the board. The practice is to just do it when it cannot wait or does not need consensus.

So as far as "things families do" go, we are keeping this practice. Our ultimate repositories of tasks and activities is Google Calendar, but abstracting out the week this way has been a boon to our livelihood.

Thanksgiving Tradition (In The Works)

Don't worry, I won't be changing our Thanksgiving tradition. But I intend to add meaning to it somehow, and make it more consistent. It's a perk of being newly married that we can "customize" traditions and make them our own. We don't watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade or football, nor do we want it to be about binge eating and drunkenness. So how will a typical Thanksgiving go?

WEEK OF: We want to volunteer in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, and participate in a food drive for those less fortunate. We also want to find someone that we can bless and give some reason to be thankful. There a lots of people that cannot be with their families, so we intend to extend an invitation to one or two to celebrate with us. There are other people that are simply struggling and would have an otherwise miserable holiday. The plan is to find one such person and make their week.

THURSDAY MORNING: Special brunch just for immediate family, a break from the oats and eggs we are used to. We'd also open the gratitude jar during brunch and read the notes accumulated over the past year. The gratitude jar is my wife's idea that throughout the year, we insert notes of blessings and gratefulness (par 1Thes.5:17-18), so we can remember God's provision and faithfulness.

Also that morning, my wife participates in the Turkey Trot, which is organized by the local YMCA. Proceeds from the fundraiser go to various causes, but more generally to sponsor low-income families to participate in YMCA programs.

THURSDAY AFTERNOON: Main meal with extended family, usually our parents. In odd years (2013, 2015, ...), we spend the holiday in Colorado. Even years (2014, 2016, ...), we shall be flying to Seattle, WA to spend it with her side of the family.
After the meal, we usually take a walk in some park close by, and get right into the desserts when we return. We then play board and card games, watch a holiday film, and pick names for Christmas gifting. Our tradition is that everyone will pick one name in the family for whom they will give a gift at Christmas (so you are not buying gifts for everyone).

THURSDAY NIGHT: Shopping for deals! Black Friday and Cyber Monday are great to finally get things we have been wanting, or Christmas gifts we intend to send to friends and family. This year hasn't been great on the deals, but we did get out and look around.

FRIDAY MORNING: The men do the Manitou Incline and will usually stop at a pizza parlor thereafter for lunch (Hell's Kitchen Pizza anyone?). This is the first time we've done this, and it turned out to be a wonderful experience. We are thinking it is a definite repeat.

Free Weekends

A lot has happened over the last month that I'm surprised I have not gone insane by now. There have been births, deaths, deadlines, demanding projects, and other personal obligations that consumed every wake hour I had. It is actually amazing how easily we burn through weeks and months without a second thought, until our bodies must physically warn us about the abuse (burnout). Without anything substantial to show for the month, it feels like you wasted or lost time. Life is quite cutthroat at that rate.

But the secret to maintaining sanity and preventing a total breakdown: rest and play. Yes, mindless play and laughter like kids do best. And plenty of rest like you have no concern in this world. So as a family we started a year ago the practice of reserving a free weekend (Friday evening through Sunday night) each month during which we unplug from the busyness around us. During our monthly planning sessions, the first thing we decide is when to have this weekend. We schedule absolutely nothing (or as little as possible) that whole time so we can rest, no matter what is on our plate. We might plan a leisurely getaway, but we usually just stay home because travel can be cumbersome and tiring itself.

A miracle happens during that weekend for me: willful neglect of social media, email, and entertainment (except background music). I typically don't do church or answer my phone as well. Nor do I concern myself with anything remotely considered an adult responsibility. Complete blackout from the usual grind. On the other end of the weekend, we are energized and have better perspective on the challenges we face. Definitely time well spent.

Cooking Experiments

Every 2-3 months, we like to do what I call "cooking experiments". This is a simple idea: we cook some food and make some drink we have never done, usually from another part of the world. We usually invite a few friends to participate, but we cover all associated costs for such an event. It is often an all-afternoon affair with an ulterior goal of getting to hang out with people we esteem or value, or new friends we'd like to get to know better. There is honesty around food and light chatter.

The experiment itself revolves around a theme. We've done parts of the world: Brazilian, Russian, Australian, Indian, and African, among others. Whichever theme we choose, we spend the week-of learning a thing or two about the culture and the food, and listening to music from the region, or queuing up movies or film about/from the area. We also look up native/traditional recipes (or staples) and assemble some options to choose from on the day of the event.

On the day of the event after our guests arrive, we consider the recipes and vote on a snack, main dish, dessert, and/or a drink to make that afternoon. Then we all go shopping for ingredients and then spend the afternoon preparing the food. Background music is according to theme, and will fix time for the movie or film selection (either while we eat or while we wait for the food to cook). We talk about that region and anything interesting we might have learned, whatever. Once, some guests even dressed up to the occasion in attire befitting the theme! These are fun events.

I started doing this tradition 4 years ago; my wife has only been around for three such events. It started for me as a way to learn how to cook well, where I enlisted friends to help me out. Participants enjoyed it, so we decided to do it regularly. We used to have games too, but because of how involved the cooking can get, there is seldom any time for that.We plan to keep this tradition alive for as long as we can, hosting various people from time to time.

Breakfast and Devotionals

Avalon, Catalina Island, CA

On the third day of our marriage (during our honeymoon on Catalina Island, CA), we were listening to a reading of the Bible off the YouVersion Bible app on my phone when breakfast was delivered and setup in our room. While we ate, we listened some more and discussed the chapter. We liked how natural it felt doing devotionals during breakfast, that we decided to adopt the idea as our first family tradition going forward.

This special morning tradition also gives us an opportunity for face time each day, no matter how busy the rest of the day may go. We use the time to update each other on plans for the day, and hear news or whatever we may have learned recently worth sharing. Mostly though, we go through a devotional guide together and have prayers before we head out into the world. Whenever we can't make it some days, we still study the devotionals on our own. It is a right way to start the day -- with food and God.