Our Own Kids Or Adoption?

Not two months after we got married, the persistent question we were asked most was when kids would arrive. As in: you meet, you date, you marry, and then kids soon after. But we had decided to wait 1-2 years before considering a family. Returning to the question this year, we explored it from a slightly different perspective: are we ready to have kids at all, and if so, how many? Can we even have kids (you'd be surprised how widespread infertility is), and how soon? How about adoption? Some exciting yet difficult conversations, definitely.

There is no question that we want to have kids. How many? A compromise at 3, God willing. She comes from a small family (2+2) whereas I come from a larger family (6+3), so our initial tendencies were along those lines. We also would like to adopt a child, if we are able to down the road. We recognize though that however and whenever the kids arrive, they will be gifts from God and our responsibilites multiply ten-fold. But are we ready for all that?

How do you even know you are ready for all that anyway? Finances because kids are expensive. Grown up because you just invited ninety-nine problems. Strong relationship because that's how you will get through insane times together. Time because you must be there for them no matter what and it's no longer about you. Well-wishers because it takes a village to raise a child. Health because sick begets sick. I'm sure there are many more.

Now the hard part: if for whatever reason we cannot naturally have kids, we decided we would consider some medical intervention but not beyond what is reasonable and common (and affordable). With these things, you just never know. I think it would also hasten our plans for adoption. As exciting as envisioning a full family is, the mental and emotional preparation for undesired circumstances is quite excrutiating. I'm a big planner, but with these things, there isn't a solid good plan. God is in control, right?

While we resolve some final details and prepare ourselves for this journey, we are very much aware that big decisions and challenges like we've never seen await us (should we be scared?). The compass has turned, it's a matter of time now and the 5-year plan is in place.